Lenten Reflections
My mind has been stuck in relation to Lent. I think my heart wants it to be the most meaningful and perfect Lent ,especially as I am approaching my confirmation and first communion, lordwilling, in the coming months. I think my heart wants it to be the most meaningful and perfect Lent. Because of this, I have been stressed as I have been wrestling with what to give up and even why to not eat meat on Fridays. However, I don’t want to be so stuck and stressed that I lose sight of the meaning of Lent. We are meant to serve our Creator, not the creation. If we get too focused on the doing, we risk losing the whole reason WHY we are doing what we are doing. As St. James says in his book: faith without works is dead. I would venture to say that additionally something that can equally render faith dead is only focusing on the “doing”. It becomes an empty echo of something meant to be beautiful and deep.
I know not all of my readers and blog followers are Catholic Christians so allow me a moment to give a brief recap of what Lent is. The following is from the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops article titled What is Lent? and I think it sums it up well :
“Lent is a 40 day season of prayer, fasting, and almsgiving that begins on Ash Wednesday and ends at sundown on Holy Thursday. It's a period of preparation to celebrate the Lord's Resurrection at Easter. During Lent, we seek the Lord in prayer by reading Sacred Scripture; we serve by giving alms; and we practice self-control through fasting. We are called not only to abstain from luxuries during Lent, but to a true inner conversion of heart as we seek to follow Christ's will more faithfully. We recall the waters of baptism in which we were also baptized into Christ's death, died to sin and evil, and began new life in Christ.”
These 40 days of lent start with Ash Wednesday and go up until Holy Thursday of Holy Week. On Ash Wednesday, we go and receive ashes on our foreheads and hear the words from Genesis 3:19: “Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.” It is also a day of fasting and repentance. In fact it reminds me a lot of Yom Kippur, the day of atonement from Judaism. This makes sense since much of the catholic faith traditions stem from Jewish tradition, but that is a post for another time, friends. Fr. Mike Schmitz has a quote about Ash Wednesday that I absolutely love :
"The ashes mean I'm a sinner. The shape of the cross means I have a Savior.” -Fr. Mike Schmitz
Death came as a result of sin and it was never how things were supposed to be. God had a plan though: to send His Son to die on the cross for us and to redeem us out of our sin and squalor. We know also that the grief we feel for our sins on Ash Wednesday, and really every day of the year, will be turned to dancing and rejoicing come Easter Sunday.
To circle back, I honestly haven’t known what to give up for Lent. In the past it was an easy thing to say “I’ll give up junk food” or “I’ll try to focus on praying and reading my Bible more” but then quickly ended up not following through. I wasn’t a practicing Catholic Christian like I am now, but had always liked the idea of Lent and its meaning. I didn’t grow up doing Lent as a Protestant. Earlier this week I thought maybe I shouldn’t give anything up at all because I’m so stressed about it and it was all feeling scrupulous at this point. Part of the fasting/abstinence for Lent is abstaining from eating meat on Fridays. This is done to remember the sacrifice of Jesus’s flesh and suffering on the cross. I really like meat and yesterday I was really wanting to order some Bourbon Chicken from my favorite place near work and I almost did, thinking what is the point in fasting from meat today. I am proud of myself for choosing to order something else instead when I could have easily caved and gotten bourbon chicken which I can get any other day of the week.
I think I am going to do what my OCIA director suggested and just make it something simple. That way I won't continued to be stressed and stuck overthinking. It doesn't have to be perfect. What matters, is that I am doing it to bring glory to God during this season as we are all preparing our hearts for remembering our Lord's sacrifice and the glory of His resurrection on Easter.
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